/Turns on flashlight
/Tentatively steps inside
/Blows the digital cobwebs away
Umm... Is anyone home?
/A bat flies over head and out the door
Well, uh, I guess it's been a while since we've talked.
/Checks the date.
Two months? Yikes. Sorry about that. I don't have much to say about "why" other than...this happens to me. I get depressed for a while and it takes some time to cycle out of it. As the days grow longer, I seem to be emerging from this most recent down time and that's a good thing.
If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I'm still around. Still engaged with the Hawks and the season. Still ranting and dropping "motherfuckers" like I'm getting paid for it.
When I'm depressed, sometimes I feel like all I have are my teams. Each game is like a lantern in the darkness. If I can just make it to the next lantern, I'll be fine. So I shuffle along from game to game, downloading pleasure or pain from each result into a brain that is otherwise numb to external stimuli.
So that's where I've been.
How have the Hawks been? Well, like most things in life, I think this question can be answered by a quote from the big Lebowski. "Oh, you know, strikes and gutters. Ups and downs."
The last time I blogged (mid-February) The Hawks were in the middle of the Streak-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Tazer got concussed and missed the last quarter of the season but the boys pulled their shit together and made it into the playoffs.
So here we sit a few hours before Game 4 against Phoenix, down 2-1 in the series and Marian Hossa is sitting at home nursing....something.
Unless you think the Hawks can win three in a row to close out the Yotes, tonight is a must-win game. No two ways about that. And I do not think the Hawks can beat Phoenix thrice in a row. So, yeah, must win.
Brandon Saad is back up with big boys tonight, filling in for Hoss in the top 6. I'd like to see lines like so:
The kid might as well be wearing a question mark on the back of his jersey instead of 43. (43, really? That's the best they can come up with for him? Such a putrid number. How about 23? That's a great Chicago number [Sandberg, Hester, Jordan]. At least give him something to work with. 43 looks awful. Like a donut laying on a staircase or something.)
But I digress.
I think we are all hoping he shows up tonight and goes sick with a hatty or something. But that shit never happens. Usually in these kinds of situations, you barely notice the rook. The moment is too big. I wouldn't be surprised if he pissed himself a little bit during the anthem. I would.
Every game has been close. Every game has gone to overtime. I doubt tonight will be any different. It would be such a relief to drop six or seven on them but their goalie, Smith, is too good for any of the nonsense we've seen in the PIT-PHI series. Although I will say that Smith displays an astonishing amount of testicular fortitude playing the puck out of his net as much as he does. I predict that this high wire act with the puck will come back to bite him in the ass before these playoffs are over. Maybe not in this series but if they move on, something bad is going to happen with him jerking off in the trapezoid at some point.
(Good band name: Jerking Off in the Trapezoid. Probably some kind of futuristic drug-addled jam band. "Dude, did you go to the Trapezoid show last week? So sick, bro! I was so psyched when they opened with 'Carnival Barker's Daughter' I was rolling so hard.")
I digress again.
The Hawks top 6, even minus Hossa, is so much more talented than than Phoenix. That difference in class has to start asserting itself soon, as in, like, right motherfucking now, tonight. I don't feel like Q gave the 10-16-25 line enough time together at the beginning of the series. They were rocking something special together at the end of the season. But one game without a point was enough for the moustache and he pulled the slot machine handle.
Let's try putting the band back together for at least one night, eh? And if you're going to play Saad, then give him the best chance at succeeding by putting him with the two best play makers on the team in Tazer and Kaner. I read a couple tweets from the beat writers that they might put Saad with Kane and Brunette. Please, God, no. Brunette cannot move. He is useless in 5-on-5 situations. I only like him on the power play behind the goal line. Kane and Saad are dynamic play-making scorers. Putting them with Brunette would be like chaining an anchor to the rear axle of a Ferrari. JUST DON'T DO IT, Q. Resist the urge. Use the force.
That's all I've got right now.
I promise to try and blog more frequently.
You can follow me on Twitter @nCornick