Writing A TunnelWriting A Tunnelhttp://www.writingatunnel.com/home/2013-01-20T21:03:48ZSquarespaceYour 2013 Chicago Blackhawks Season Preview/Post-Lockout/Game of Thrones Extravaganza!http://www.writingatunnel.com/home/2013/1/20/your-2013-chicago-blackhawks-season-previewpost-lockoutgame.htmlNoah Cornick2013-01-20T21:00:00Z2013-01-20T21:00:00ZAnnnnnnd, I'm back.  Only been five months.  Miss me?  Didn't think so.

Last year I used Harry Potter for the season preview. This year I am going with Game of Thrones, AKA A Song of Ice and Fire. (GOT is actually the name of the first book in the series so ASOIAF is a bit more appropriate when referring to the whole series...but...whatever.)

I have read all the books (five of a planned seven) and watched the first two seasons of the HBO series.  Obviously by reading the books I know things that are going to happen to a lot of the characters that you wouldn't know if you only watched the HBO series.  With that in mind I did my best to keep my descriptions vague so as not to spoil anything for you TV-only people, which I assume is the vast majority.  Also,  I used illustrations for the characters that I found online rather than the actors from the TV show.  I don't like being forced to imagine a character based on an actor's physical appearance.  I like to use my imagination so that's why I decided to do it that way.

If you haven't read the books, I highly recommend them.  They provide so much more depth and context than they are able to fit into the TV show.  I still like what HBO has done with it but the universe George R.R. Martin has created is so huge and has so many characters that it is really hard to work all the subtleties and nuances into a TV show.  Stuff gets lost.

I was planning on posting this on Friday 1/18, the day before the first game of the season. Unfortunately I came down with pneumonia last week and that just knocked me on my ass.  I highly recommend never catching pneumonia if you can arrange it.

I'm not sure what my plan for this blog is going forward.  I would like to think that I will be posting somewhat regularly during the hockey season.  At least I will if I think I have anything interesting to say. Follow me on Twitter if you care and I will link to whatever new stuff I post there.

I broke this down into two parts. The first part is all Blackhawks players and personnel.  The second part is all non-Hawks players and NHL/league people.  Enjoy!

PART 1 - BLACKHAWKS PLAYERS AND PERSONNEL

Jonathan Toews is...

Danerys Targaryen

Each is the most important character in their respective story and the plots cannot move forward unless they advance them.  Danerys is the mother of dragons and slaves.  Tazer is the metaphorical father of the team.  He's the daddy-captain. Did you see the pictures of him running practices during the lockout? It's just what he does, it's etched into his DNA.  I like to imagine someone else trying to run a practice and Tazer proceeding to stare them to death.

It's easy to forget how young Danerys and Tazer are.  Danerys is only fourteen in the books (guess HBO isn't cool with depicting a 14 year-old getting mounted by a much older Khal Drogo...) and Tazer is only twenty-four.  In hockey terms, he's still three to five years away from his prime. 

The main difference between these two is that Tazer has already been to the top of the mountain. The question is: was that a one time thing or can he put a team on his back and take them to the promised land one or two more times before he's done?  Danerys is still earning how to weild her power and is yet to achieve her dream of sitting upon the Iron Throne.

The Money Quote: "When my dragons are grown, we will take back what was stolen from me and destroy those who have wronged me.  We will lay waste to armies and burn cities to the ground.  Turn us away and we will burn you first."

Patrick Sharp is...

Ser Loras Tyrell 

Because they're the finest physical example of the male form in both fiction and real life. Or so I understand. That's where any comparison of these two must begin anyway. Sharp is one of Chicago's Most Beautiful People.  Ser Loras is known as the Knight of Flowers.  Women swoon after him wherever he goes.  They dampen the ladies' smallclothes is what I'm trying to say. (Disclaimer: In the books there are oblique references to Loras' sexual orientation and a possible clandestine relationship with Renly Baratheon; In the television show there is no ambiguity, Loras and Renly are shown to be lovers....but I digress.)

On a less superficial level, we must acknowledge that both of these guys are the balls in combat.  Sharp was the Hawks best and most dependable forward last year and is vastly underrated in the discussion of best offensive players in the league.  There is nothing really underrated about Loras. He is a member of the Kingsguard. He wins tourneys left and right and is considered one of, if not the best all-around knights in Westeros.

The Money Quote: [Jaime Lannister about Loras] "He is me, Jaime realized suddenly.  I was speaking to myself as I was, all cocksure, arrogant, and empty chivalry.  This is what it does to you to be too good, too young."

Marian Hossa is...

Khal Drogo

Khal Dogo is the baddest motherfucker to have sprung forth from the mind of George R.R. Martin thus far in a Song of Ice and Fire.  Nothing stands before him and the only player on the Hawks worthy of the comparison is my main man, my favorite Hawk, Boss Hoss, Marian Hossa.

Snappin' necks and cashin' checks is what they do.  When you are reading about or watching Drogo you can feel the power glowing off the page and screen.  He is pure animal-warrior.  No thought, just movement and action.  Instinct.  And that's what it feels like when I'm watching Hossa when he's on his game, just toying with the opposition because he's just so much better than everyone else on the ice. Whatever.  I'll admit it.  My Hossa man-crush is one degree shy of becoming Loras/Renly-esque.

If I'm comparing these two though, I can't get out of here without mentioning something rather unfortunate.  Both Hoss and Drogo were brought low by treachery.  Hossa by the mindless cruelty of Raffi Torres and Drogo by the blood magic of Mirri Maz Durr.

Hossa, like Tazer needs to avoid being concussed again this season if the Hawks are going to have any success.

PS: If anyone in the Hawks front office is even thinking about buying out Hoss next summer, I'm gonna find them and do THIS.  Beware.

UPDATE: Hoss checks in with a goal and two assists in the first game of the season. Boom!

The Money Quote: "I will rape their women, take their children as slaves, and bring their golden gods back to Vaes Dothrak."

Patrick Kane is...

Syrio Forel

Kaner is a more important character to the Blackhawks than Syrio Forel is to A Song of Ice and Fire but I couldn't figure out anyone else who matched up with Kaner so well.  Forel is a water dancer, a philosopher, and as the former First Sword of Braavos, he is the ultimate swordsman.

I love how Martin writes Forel.  His constant use of the third person to refer to both himself and the person he is speaking to is very entertaining.  

The comparison with Kaner is based solely on their pure skill levels.  I've seen it written before that Kaner is the Hawks most skilled player since Denis Savard.  For all of his off-ice exploits and being pushed into roles that don't suit him *cough*center*cough* it can be easy to forget how supremely talented the kid actually is when he is allowed to do what he does: make plays.  He is the Blackhawks water dancer and their first sword. 

The Money Quote: "Just so.  Opening your eyes is all that is needing.  The heart lies and the head plays tricks with us, but the eyes are true.  Look with your eyes.  Hear with your ears.  Taste with your mouth. Smell with your nose.  Feel with your skin.  Then comes the thinking, afterward, and in that way knowing the truth."

The Money Quote No. 2: "There is only one god, and His name is Death.  And there is only one thing we say to Death: 'Not today.'"

The Money Quote No. 3: "The Frist Sword of Braavos does not run."

Dave Bolland is...

Petyr Baelish AKA Littlefinger

There is the Game of Thrones and then there are the games within the Game of Thrones. These two are the masters of the games within the game.  Manipulation and psychology are where they make their bones. 

It's the work that Bolland does between the whistles that makes him special.  Like Baelish, he is slight of build and tends to rely more on his cunning than whatever his physical gifts may be.  He'll fuck with the other teams' mind then annoyingly back it up with a great skill play.  Even in moments of success however, he betrays nothing.  Are you familiar with his post-goal serial killer stare?

He is The Rat.

If Petyr Baelish's nickname was not Littlefinger, it could easily be The Rat.  Just look at him.  He is so god damned sneaky and slimy...and ratty.  He makes me squirm whenever he shows up in the series.  So creepy.  Always plotting and scheming to assume as much power as he possibly can you never feel like you really know what is going on with Littlefinger. You know he's playing the game two or three moves ahead of you but you can't catch up with him.  If every player in the game is dancing, don't you get the uncomfortable feeling that Littlefinger is the one holding all the strings?  Gross.

The Money Quote: "Distrusting me was the wisest thing you've done since you stepped off your horse."

Duncan Keith is...


Eddard Stark

Great, yet flawed men.  Eddard tried to play the game of thrones with honor and that cost him his head. If only Eddard would have remembered what Leo, the evil leader of The Scorpions gang in the musical Grease said: "The rules are, there ain't no rules."

No rules in drag racing and no rules in the game of thrones, alas.  That is not to say that Eddard was stupid, just that he could not deviate from his rigid moral code for any reason, even if it meant saving his own life.

Which brings us to the curious case of Duncan Keith.  Only a couple of years ago he was deemed the best defenseman in all the realm.  Today, he's slipped into a secondary tier and the fans and media have just about run out of explanations as to what exactly his malfunction is.

At first we thought it was just part of the general hangover the whole team went through after the Cup run.  He admitted as much himself.  Then last year there was a lot of talk about motivation and visits to the team psychiatrist.  Haven't heard a peep out of him this off-season/lockout.  He wasn't in Chicago working out with the guys there so I'm left to assume he was training in solitude in rural British Columbia like some kind of Canadian monk.

It's my hope that during all these off months that he was able to sort out whatever it was that bringing him down and get back to his old ways.

Quiet, solid, rigid.  Honorable.  There are a lot of similarities between Duncs and Eddard, I just hope that Keith figures out how to change himself in time.  Eddard didn't.

The Money Quote: "Winter is coming."

Brent Seabrook is...

Jaquen H'ghar

Power play? Check.  Penalty kill? Check.  Shut down the other team's top line?  Check.  Eats monster minutes?  Check.  Can be relied upon to complete any task put to him in any given situation?  Check. He is simply the Hawks best defenseman and he does it all in relative silence and anonymity.

Jaqen H'ghar is the best at what he does (killing people).  If you give a man a name, a man will kill him for you.  Period.  End of story.  As a Faceless Man of Braavos we don't really know who or what Jaqen H'ghar is other than the most efficient killer this side of Dexter.  And he does it all in relative silence and anonymity.

The Money Quote: "Help was not promised, lovely girl. Only death."

Corey Crawford is...


Brandon Stark

Sometimes it's easy to forget that the goaltender is the most important position on a hockey team.  It's even easier to forget that on a team like the Hawks who have so many interesting players and personalities outside the crease that by the time you get to thinking about Corey Crawford, you're like, "Oh yeah, him."

His first season was good, his second season was bad and now what are we to expect in his third?  It was too many softies last year, especially in the playoffs that sunk the Hawks.  Did he spend his lockout time wisely?  I don't know.  I never heard anything about him at all during the lockout.  He is so boring that he makes Tazer look like a coked up go-go dancer in a cage at Studio 54, circa 1978.  I bet you Crawford is like one of those weirdos who are on that show My Strange Addiction. He probably eats toasters or something.

It can be easy to forget about Bran as well since Martin tends to abandon his story from hundreds of pages at a time.  But that's not because he's not important, in fact he may end up as the most important character in the series when it's all said and done (with the caveat that he doesn't die first, of course - Martin loves to kill his characters).

As an aside, I predict the climax of the entire saga will come down to some kind of epic showdown between Bran and Danerys, Ice versus fire. Just a guess.

Anyway, there's a lot going on with Bran.  He obviously has enormous potential but can he learn to harness his power, and channel it properly?  Same for Crawford.  Enormous potential.  The talent is there, but can he put it all together in a scant 48 games?

The Money Quote: "Can a man still be brave when he's afraid?"

Daniel Carcillo is...

Melisandre

We don't have proof that Carcillo is not actually a red priest of R'hllor so until proven otherwise, I'm just going to go with that.

Lots of connections between these two.  Melisandre seems to be playing a game that we, the readers, are not privy to and sometimes it feels like Carcillo decides to play his own games with out considering what is best for the team.  I can't take any more mindless majors that require season-ending surgery and months of rehab from him.

Melisandre undoubtedly has power.  We just don't understand where it comes from or what the extent of it is.  I don't think she does either.  Her visions show both truths and half-truths and she doesn't have the skill to separate the two which is frustrating and makes her look like some kind of carnival sideshow... Just like Carcillo.

Carcillo actually has some skill but when he forgets that and lets his reptilian brain take over (or maybe it's the other way around; maybe his brain is primarily reptilian and the human side emerges only occassionally...) things go to shit and he becomes the sideshow.

Both Carcillo and Melisandre have attached themselves to powerful people in order to further their ambitions: Melisandre to Stannis Baratheon and Carcillo to Toews and Hossa (on whose line he will be skating).  Only Q would be able to explain why Carcillo is on a line with two of the best forwards in hockey when he should be in the bottom six somewhere.  Melisandre is merely an up-jumped priestess who thinks that Stannis is the answer to her prophecies.  Stannis is running with her because he doesn't have any other options.  The Hawks have other options on what they can do with Carcillo although it is up to Q's whims to make it happen.  Color me doubtful.

UPDATE: Carcillo injured himself in the first game of the season and will be out for a month. 

The Money Quote: "We all must choose.  Man or woman, young or old, lord or peasant, our choices are the same.  We choose light or we choose darkness."

Brandon Saad is...


Arya Stark

Brandon Saad and Arya Stark are the vessels of all our hopes and dreams.  Merely children, we have seen their potential and ache to see both of them mature into their powers with which they will beat fools down.

Arya is my favorite character in both the books and television series, although in the books Martin spends a hell of a lot more time on characters a hell of a lot less interesting (Catelyn Stark, come on down!  Brienne of Tarth, come on down!) than Arya.  In books with fifty or sixty chapters, he might give her three.  Come on, man.

We want both of them to do well so badly that it aches.  We want Arya to become a master assassin who takes vengeance on all the people who destroyed her and her family (Ser Gregor, Dunsen, Polliver, Raff the Sweetling, The Tickler, The Hound, Ser Ilyn, Ser Meryn, King Joffrey, Queen Cersei) and we want Saad to become the next Hossa.  We want it.  Can they live up to our expectations?  I don't know. That's why we read the books and watch the games... 

The Money Quote: "Swift as a deer.  Quiet as a shadow.  Fear cuts deeper than swords.  Quick as a snake. Calm as still water.  Fear cuts deeper than swords.  Strong as a bear.  Fierce as a wolverine. Fear cuts deeper than swords.  The man who fears losing has already lost.  Fear cuts deeper than swords.  Fear cuts deeper than swords."

Andrew Shaw is...

Sandor Clegane AKA The Hound

They're button-pushers.  They annoy you with their filthy chirping which is one way to get under your skin... but when some one tells them to, you know, push a button... they push it.

Excuse me for jumping off the GOT metaphor train here for a second but maybe this exchange from The Godfather, Part 2 can explain things a little better.

Chairman: You were a member of the Corleone crime organization.
Cicci: No. We called it the Corleone Family, Senator.  We called it the family.
Chairman: What was your position?
Cicci: At first, like everybody else, I was a soldier.
Chairman: What is that?
Cicci: A button, you know, Senator, come on.
Chairman: No, I don't know. Tell me.
Cicci: Well when the boss says push a button on a guy, I push a button. See, Senator? 

The Money Quote: "If any man dies with a clean sword, I'll rape his fucking corpse!"

The Money Quote (Bonus Quote!): "Fuck the Kingsguard, fuck the city, fuck the king."

Joel Quenneville is...

Lord Commander Jeor Mormont

Grizzled, veteran soldiers.  Leaders of men.  Questionable decision-makers.

The Money Quote: "They say the king loved to hunt. The things we love destroy us every time, lad. Remember that."

PART 2 - NON-HAWKS PLAYERS & LEAGUE PERSONALITIES

Dustin Byfuglien is...

Samwell Tarly

Because they're both fat, you see.

The Money Quote: 

Alexandre Burrows is...

 

Theon Greyjoy

A weak, insecure boy who betrays the family that raised him and kills many of those that he was closest to.  Sounds about right for Burrows.

The Money Quote: "It's better to be cruel than weak."

Sidney Crosby is...

Viserys Targaryen

They operate under the presumption that they are the best.  That they are the true heirs and direct descendents of the great players and kings that have come before them.

But they presume too much.  They over reach.  They whine and grovel and depend upon the welfare of the media strangers to survive.

No, in the end, they are not special at all. Crosby got his crown of concussions and Viserys received his crown of molten gold.

The Money Quote: "You dare?  You give commands to me?  To me?  You do not command the dragon. I'm the lord of the Seven Kingdoms.  I don't take orders from savages or their sluts.  Do you hear me?"

Don Cherry is...

Grand Maester Pycelle

Doddering old fools whose"wisdom" is sought out and listened to with great reverence.

The Money Quote:"Now I have his son, King Joffrey, may the Gods bless his reign.  He's a capable young man."

Elliote Friedman is...

Lord Varys

They are the Masters of Whispers. Too easy.

The Money Quote: "The storms come and go, the waves crash overhead, the big fish eat the little fish, and I keep on paddling."

Gary Bettman is...

Cersei Lannister

Lying, incompetent, scheming cunts.

The Money Quote: "When you play the game of thrones you win or die.  There is no middle ground."

Jeremy Jacobs is...

Tywin Lannister

These are the true faces of evil and power.  Other...lesser...beings, may scurry about, making irritating noises in dark corners of these stories but in the end they signify nothing.  Only these two stand unopposed, lords of all they survey.  They are heartless pricks who would sell their own mothers into prostitution if they thought there was a buck to be made.

The Money Quote: "A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep."

Donald Fehr is...

Tyrion Lannister

They are the perfect foils for Jeremy Jacobs and Tywin Lannister.  If only the whole world wasn't watching every move Jacobs and Tywin make, they would have disposed of these disgusting inconveniences long ago.  Alas, as it stands, their existences must be tolerated.

Unfortunately for Jacobs and Tywin, Tyrion and Donald are the cleverest characters in their respective universes.  They tend to be underestimated at every turn which they almost always use to their advantage.

The Money Quote: "I have a realistic grasp of my own strengths and weaknesses.  My mind is my weapon. My brother has his sword, King Robert has his war hammer, and I have my mind...and a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it's to keep its edge.  That's why I read so much, Jon Snow."

That's it.  You can follow me on Twitter @nCornick more nonsense if you so desire.

 

]]>The Missing Links 8.9.12http://www.writingatunnel.com/home/2012/8/9/the-missing-links-8912.htmlNoah Cornick2012-08-09T21:40:00Z2012-08-09T21:40:00Z

Amazing picture. Maybe one of the greatest pictures ever taken. A Tatooine Martian sunrise. I can't get enough Mars news these days. 

Not a lot of links today as I was busy trying to watch the U.S. Women's Soccer team win the gold medal in their redemption match against Japan. And they did. I really love those ladies. I keep wanting to call them girls but that isn't right. They are women. Very attractive women. I have lots of crushes on that team.

-Grant Wahl's USA-Japan game story. [Sports Illustrated]

-Speaking of women at the Olympics... They are dominating the men. Part of me wishes I had a daughter so I could expose her to all the great examples of female strength in the sports world. Alas.[Washington Post]

-"Mars crater where rover landed looks 'Earth like.'" [AP]

-The Olympic medal for whining goes to... [New York Times]

-McKayla Maroney teaches Jenna Bush how to Dougie. McKayla's got some moves. Jenna is channeling her inner Republican in her effort to dance. Awesome. [Buzzfeed]

-This makes the 20 year-old me very, very happy. Scully and Mulder are shacking up in real life. [Buzzfeed]

-Finally in honor of the bad ass women of American soccer, I give you this gem from last year's World Cup. OH CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?! ABBY WAMBACH HAS SAVED THE USA'S LIFE IN THIS WORLD CUP!

]]>The Missing Links 8.8.12http://www.writingatunnel.com/home/2012/8/8/the-missing-links-8812.htmlNoah Cornick2012-08-08T19:20:00Z2012-08-08T19:20:00Z

That would be the first high-res image released by NASA from Curiosity. You are looking at Curiosity's heat shield as it was jettisoned during descent. Awesome.

-Even awesomer? This 360-degree HD image of the Martian landscape pieced together from 817 images taken by the Opportunity Rover. AMAZING. Click this. [panoramas.dk]

-Enjoyed this story about an American family that moves to Russia and the experience of integrating their children into a foreign culture. Really interesting. [New York Times]

-Mac Wilkins describes his personal journey from grade-schooler to Olympic Champion in the discus. Good insight into the kind of mindset that is required to achieve athletic greatness. Reminded me of this article about Bruce Jenner that talked about the crazy level of intense focus that is needed to reach seemingly impossible goals. It's inspiring which I guess what the Olympics are all about. [Deadspin]

-Five observations about Olympic Park, from roaming beer to bad pizza. [Fourth Place Medal]

-Great story by Wright Thompson about Urban Meyer and the trials he's gone through as a head coach. I don't hate him as much as I used to after reading this. Still hate Ohio State with all of my heart, though. [ESPN]

-Finding a long forgotten gold medal and getting chills all over again. Steve Rushin is the best. [Sports Illustrated]

-There's a new Orca baby in the J-Pod. This is good. [Seattle Times]

-Put this video up on Twitter and Facebook today just because it makes me happy. Hope it makes your heart smile too.

]]>The Missing Links 8.7.12http://www.writingatunnel.com/home/2012/8/7/the-missing-links-8712.htmlNoah Cornick2012-08-07T21:15:00Z2012-08-07T21:15:00ZThis blew my mind.

-The impartial journalist's game story from yesterday's USA-Canada Olympic women's soccer match. [Sports Illustrated]

-Here is respected Canadian sports columnist, Bruce Arthur, crying like a little punk-ass bitch with his take on the game and what it means to Canada. [National Post]

-American Hero, Dan Wetzel, lays out the Truth of the game with some money quotes from fellow American Hero, Abby Wambach. [Yahoo! Sports]

-In other news, blow me, Canada.

-"From gloom emerged a Games no one - including Brits - expected." Or, How the Brits Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Olympics. [SI]

-What health care can learn from The Cheesecake Factory. [The New Yorker]

-A tech writer got his life hacked. This kind of story only reinforces my desire to chuck it all and live off the grid as a gentleman farmer (apples, pears, and cherries if you must know). [Wired]

-You would have thought that the military would have learned their lesson about cover-ups after Pat Tillman. This is disgraceful. [Seattle Times]

-Status update on the NHL CBA negotiations. [CBC Sports]

-The Great Gatsby's release date is being pushed back to next summer. Lame. [E!]

-After peeing my pants, I would have run inside and hid in a closet. "IT'S A SHARK!"

]]>The Missing Links 8.6.12http://www.writingatunnel.com/home/2012/8/6/the-missing-links-8612.htmlNoah Cornick2012-08-06T20:30:00Z2012-08-06T20:30:00Z

IT'S MINE! IT'S ALL MINE!

That's the big secret I've been waiting to unload for a couple weeks. And I couldn't even wait until this blog post. I spilled the beans about it last Friday on Twitter. Too excited.

More pictures....

So there it is. I am the proud owner Bobby Orr's Power Play by Bally, manufactured in 1978.

Did I mention I took a little video of it so you could hear the bells and whistles (literally)? Oh, I didn't? Here you go, then.

Note: My wife is not good at pinball.

How did this come to be?

Let us start with this post from back in June when I went to the Seattle Pinball Museum for the first time and learned that this machine even existed. They keep this machine in the rear of the SPM, right next to the counter where the register is and where Cindy, the co-owner surveys her realm.

While playing the machine on my first visit, I struck up a conversation with Cindy and asked her if they ever sold any of their machines cough*POWERPLAY*cough. She said no, not really, they were not in the business of flipping machines. Bummer, but I understood. I went home and poked around on the internet to see what these Power Play machines were going for. Anywhere from $1200-$2000. Gulp.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago and I am back at the SPM, playing the Power Play machine again. Cindy is there as well and we are talking some more about how cool the game is and I am rambling on about being a Blackhawks fan and how this game is so strange because it features Bobby Orr as a Blackhawk, and on and on. Then Cindy drops a bombshell on me. Her and her husband, Charlie, have a second Power Play machine at home that they just acquired and they are willing to sell it.

Boom.

I repeat, Boom.

Cindy says that they had one guy who expressed interest in the machine already but that she remembered me from the when I came into the Museum the first time and started obsessing about the game. Because she remembered me, she put me ahead of the other guy. Thank you for that, Cindy.

So a couple days later I went to Cindy and Charlie's house to look at the machine and while it showed some age and wear, it was still fantastic. Yes, I still wanted to buy it. 

Over the next week or so, Charlie took care of a few minor things that needed to be replaced on the machine. Then finally last Friday I went back to their house and picked it up with my father-in-law and brought it home. Looks great, sounds great, plays great.

I have a freaking pinball machine in my house. I feel a little bit like Ricky Shcroder in Silver Spoons. 

Is there anyone who doesn't like pinball? I don't think there is. It's the most fun you can have for a quarter.

A couple fun/weird side notes on this game. On Friday after I got it home, I put up a picture on Twitter and mentioned @jeffmarek in the tweet. He is the co-host of my favorite hockey podcast and lover of all things retro/70's/hockey-related so I thought he would get a kick out of it. He did and then he told me two things about the game, 1) they have one of these at the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto (HOLY BALLS!) and 2) Bobby Orr was a left-handed shot. He is portrayed on the back glass art as a right-handed shot though. Oops.

Open invitation: If you're ever in Seattle, hit me and up and we'll play two players. And I'll beat you.

To the links!

-One of my favorite blogs is Go Fug Yourself. It purports to be about celebrity fashion but that's just a front for their true love, the Royals. I get most of my Royals information via GFY and the Olympics has brought the best out of both GFY and their favorite subjects: Wills, Kate, and Harry. While I think the concept of royalty is ridiculous in 2012, I can't help but love these three. I am linking (in chronological order) to several GFY/Royals/Olympics posts from the last couple weeks starting just before the Olympics until today. I strongly urge you to click through the links *in order* and revel in all the pictures. So good... I can't even... [GFY Royals Post 1, Post 2, Post 3, Post 4, Post 5, Post 6, Post 7, Post 8]

-Simmons' fourth dispatch from the Olympics. This one on Great Britain's triumphant weekend. Lots of chills from this one. [Grantland]

-They have taken out most of the dams on the Elwha River and now nature is doing what it is supposed to. This pleases me. [Seattle Times]

-Michael Farber on Michael Phelps. Great writing here. [Sports Illustrated]

-Another Phelps piece that I enjoyed. [SB Nation]

-"The frozen, dystopian, free world, where we’re our other selves.  Where we’re hockey players." [Backhand Shelf]

-The saddest thing you'll read today. A note from Marilyn Monroe to ex-husband Joe Dimaggio written the day before she died. Heart-breaking. [Letters of Note]

-NASA Control Room during touchdown of Curiosity. Chills.

You can follow me on Twitter @nCornick.

]]>The Missing Links 8.2.12http://www.writingatunnel.com/home/2012/8/2/the-missing-links-8212.htmlNoah Cornick2012-08-02T19:05:00Z2012-08-02T19:05:00ZDidn't put up a post yesterday. Life got in the way of blogging. Sorry.

I expect to have a fun post on Monday with all the details of the secret thing that I have been waiting to happen for the last couple weeks. It's happening tomorrow! Huzzah! Very excited about this. Plus I will have thoughts on The Dark Knight Rises which I am seeing tonight.

To the links!

-Why August is the worst month in sports (and in my opinion, in general). [Sports Illustrated]

-The Slave Who Circumnavigated The World. Interesting story about Magellan and his slave. I enjoyed the way this was written. [The Awl]

-Everything you ever wanted to know about being a male porn actor. [GQ]

-Hockey Training begins. Tazer has his game face on in his sleep. [Backhand Shelf]

-Keeping the Cup. A nice piece on what it's like to travel with the Cup during the summer. [ESPN]

-David Kaplan wasn't feeling the return the Cubs got on Ryan Dempster. [CSN Chicago]

-Swimming vs. Gymnastics. Simmons breaks it down. [Grantland]

-Michael Ian Black on Romance. This was good. [Vice.com]

-McKayla Maroney's vault owned. I liked the judge's open mouth. [Buzzfeed]

-Jesse Eisenberg. His mom. His friend. Frozen yogurt. Ambiguous homosexual references. Not sure what this was about exactly, but I found it compelling. [McSweeny's]

-Greetings From Williston, North Dakota. It's an oil boomtown. Sounds awful.  [Men's Journal]

-The Bull Passes Through. Running with the bulls in Pamplona is for crazy and/or broken people.  [The Morning News]

-I didn't know that people who were really into trains were called foamers. Now I do. This is just bizarre.

]]>The Missing Links 7.31.12http://www.writingatunnel.com/home/2012/7/31/the-missing-links-73112.htmlNoah Cornick2012-07-31T18:16:00Z2012-07-31T18:16:00ZStraight to the links today.

-Richard Deitsch's daily Olympic briefing. [SI]

-People are pissed about NBC's handling of the Olympics. Vigilante nerds unite! [Reuters]

-This tweet made me laugh.

-Geovany Soto and Reed Johnson got traded. The fire sale has begun. [Daily Herald]

-The Best Time I Quit Drinking [The Hairpin]

-The correlation between garbage and the economy. [The Fix]

-The World's Most Hipster Wedding Announcement May Justify Outlawing Love. [Gawker]

-Rick Nash Thoughts on Thoughts [Backhand Shelf]

-Hawks mailbag from Jesse Rogers. I'll be interested to see how Kruger comes along this year. And Saad. If those two guys can step up it would be a huge deal. [ESPN Chicago]

-I always enjoyed watching Bob Ross paint. It made me feel like I just took a couple vicodin and was melting into the couch.

-Bonus video today. Cat attacks a greeting card. [YouTube]

You can follow me on Twitter @nCornick.

]]>The Missing Links 7.30.12http://www.writingatunnel.com/home/2012/7/30/the-missing-links-73012.htmlNoah Cornick2012-07-30T17:46:00Z2012-07-30T17:46:00Z

I have a veritable cornucopia of links for you today. My cup of links runneth over. 

But first, a weekend recap: Friday: chores, Saturday: unsuccessful crabbing expedition as detailed in this tweet, Sunday: more chores. Then there's the super-cool, exciting thing I keep mentioning in the blog. Still hasn't happened yet. I am hopeful that it will be this week. Stay tuned.

-A description of the above photo. Lenticular clouds FTW! [Seattle Times]

-Is it possible the Sedin twins have a missing identical brother? A compelling case here. [Backhand Shelf]

-Update on the possible Sedin triplet. [@jtbourne]

-He & He & He. A profile of three gay men living together as a "throuple". Mind-bendingly interesting. [New York Magazine]

-Sports Illustrated's best pictures from Day 2 of the Olympics. [SI]

-Here is a Twitter recommendation for you: Joe Schwenk. A Hamptons handyman tweets about the ridiculous requests he get and the work he performs for the ultra rich at the end of Long Island. It's good stuff. [@HamptonsBorn]

-Richard Deitsch's daily Olympic Briefing. Required reading if you're following the Games. [SI]

-More from SI. Alexander Wolff recalls the 1972 Munich Games, the hostage crisis, and his father. [SI]

-I've always wondered about this. What is the actual monetary value of an Olympic Medal? [Yahoo! Sports]

-Something else I've always wondered about. What is it like to host a young hockey player in your home for a season? [Saline Patch]

-This American Life has a great episode this week. Really enjoyed the first story about the author Piers Anthony. Worth your time to listen to the whole episode. [TAL]

-I particularly enjoyed the Canoga Park videos. [YouTube]

-Can Seattle support six pro teams? For my part, I promise to buy season tickets to the hockey team when/if they ever show up. [Seattle Times]

-Hey, Waste Mangement, let's figure this shit out, mmkay? My kitchen counter is filling up with recyclables. [Seattle PI]

-The Dutch women's field hockey team is, um, hot. [Fourth Place Medal]

-Speaking of attractive athletes... Hope Solo is a dumb-dumb. [Washington Post]

-Excited about this. Bill Simmons is covering the Olympics from London. My expectations are high. [Grantland]

-And like clockwork Simmons knocks it out of the park with his first piece on Handball. These next two weeks are going to be fun. [Grantland]

-More Grantland. @katiebakes wraps up the swimming over the weekend. A good read. [Grantland]

-A marathon Blackhawks mailbag. After reading this, my uneasiness about this team reamins.... uneased. [MyFoxChicago]

-Cutler and Urlacher's contract situations. [Trib]

-Super Bears! Super Bowl! [ESPN's NFC North blog]

-Here's the trailer for Ben Affleck's new movie coming out in October, Argo. Looks great, I'm in.

You can follow me on Twitter @nCornick.

]]>The Missing Links 7.26.12http://www.writingatunnel.com/home/2012/7/26/the-missing-links-72612.htmlNoah Cornick2012-07-26T20:10:00Z2012-07-26T20:10:00ZI don't have anything interesting to show you today. I don't have anything interesting to write about today either. The links are shitty too.

-Gretzky was in Seattle yesterday making himself seen at the Mariners game. He was here allegedly to speak with the group interested in building an arena in Bellevue. We could have competing arenas now. Oh the dramaz! [MYNorthwest.com]

-Here is Bourne's take on what the Gretzky visit means. [Backhand Shelf]

Seriously, that's it. I didn't see anything else of interest on the internet today. I'm going crabbing on Saturday so hopefully there will be pictures and interesting stories from that adventure.

Did you know that I work four 10's, Monday through Thursday? My week ends in about three hours. Fuck this shit. It's Miller Time. I'm out.

Oh, I almost forgot something. The Olympics start tomorrow. I'm excited about that.

Mary Lou Retton needed a 10.0 to secure the all-around gold in 1984 and she NAILED it. 'Merica FTW!

You can follow me on Twitter @nCornick.

]]>The Missing Links 7.25.12http://www.writingatunnel.com/home/2012/7/25/the-missing-links-72512.htmlNoah Cornick2012-07-25T22:07:00Z2012-07-25T22:07:00Z

A few days ago I mentioned that I would have some fun/cool news to report. Update on that: things are looking good but I won't reveal anything until next week. I am super excited about this. Stay tuned.

-That Colosseum is constructed from over 200,000 lego elements. I will now sob quietly in the corner. You'll definitely want to click this link to see close-up photos of all the small details. Truly amazing. [Gizmodo]

-I've always like the A's for some reason. Maybe it's the elephant in their logo. Anyway, in this season of badness for the Cubs, I'm semi-happy to see the Athletics doing well. [SI]

-A one-on-one interview with Marian Hossa. [CSN Chicago]

-The latest Bakeshop Q & A. My question (a comment actually) is the last one. [Grantland]

-The headline says it all: Double Bacon Corn Dog tops list of new Iowa State Fair foods. [Des Moines Register]

-I've been lsitening to this song a lot lately. Joe Walsh - underrated, IMO. (PS: I dig the effort of the homemade music video).

You can follow me on Twitter @nCornick.

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