On Saturday, my wife and I hit up Kau Kau in Seattle's International District. I feel deep burning shame for not knowing about this place before this past weekend. I've lived in Seattle for nine of the last twelve years and I didn't know about this place. But I know now, and as I said on Twitter I might eat here every day for the rest of my life. So effing good.
They have a huge menu of Chinese food but they are known for their barbecue. We had the BBQ pork fried rice, the BBQ pork, the BBQ roast pork, and the BBQ pork spare ribs. I was in full glutton mode, stuffing these nuggets of pure heaven in to my mouth. Seriosly, some of the best things I've ever eaten.
Stay tuned to the blog over the next couple days as I should have a very cool/fun announcement to make that is related to the same trip to the International District that took me to Kau-Kau. I don't want to jinx anything so I am not going to say anything else right now. Just stay tuned.
To the links!
-Brandon Marshall gave the keynote address to a confernece on Borderline Personality Disorder in Seattle this weekend. I hope he is able to keep his psychological demons at bay long enough to help the Bears win a Super Bowl. I wish him luck on his journey. [Sun Times]
-A 14 year-old Slash writes a letter to his ex-girlfriend. He was cooler than cool even back in '79. [Letters of Note]
-The teaser trailer for Man of Steel. If only the special effects were better in the Christopher Reeves era then those movies would have been perfect. You are not going to find a better Clark Kent/Superman than Reeves. First of all, this guy is British (Superman is 'Merican!) and secondly, I see they went with the bearded/hipster/emo/Portlandia motif. Puke. [Yahoo! Movies]
-Fuck it. Let's do it O.G. style. "They can be a great people, Kal-El. They wish to be..."
-A long read on Bo Xilai and the politics of Communist China. Interesting stuff. [FT Magazine]
-The Best "Price Is Right" Contestant That Ever Was. [Buzzfeed]
-UK promotional spot for the Paralympics. Awesome use of Public Enemy. Inspiring. [YouTube via @RichardDeitsch]
-Too many articles and blog posts for me to list coming out of the Blackhawks convention this weekend. Someone else rounded it up better than I could. [Second City Hockey]
-Don't really know what to say about this video. It pretty much speaks for itself I guess. I couldn't/can't stop looking at the stars. Our lives really don't mean squat in the grand scheme of things. Amazing.
In March 2011, my wife and I went to New York City for a week. While there, we saw the Broadway show Jersey Boys. I loved it and since then Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons have been played with regularity on my iPod.
I have to say that that of all their great songs, and there are a lot of them, I have come back over and over to one in particular: "Dawn". Before we go any further, take a listen to this:
I think this may be the most self-loathing song ever written in American pop music history. I'm kind of obsessed with it. So today, I thought I would share my obsession with you by taking a close look at the lyrics.
Let's jump right in. My comments are in bold.
Dawn, Go away I'm no good for you.
Boom! Right off the fucking bat. Dawn, get the fuck away from me. I am a piece of shit loser. Don't even look at me! I am fucking scum. I'm a god damned leper and my face is falling off. JUST GO AWAY! I AM A WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH!
Oh Dawn, Stay with him, he'll be good to you.
Hey, Dawn? You know that other bro you're seeing? That really cool, chill bro? Please, don't even consider me, okay? I know he'll treat you with class. My manners are so shitty that I can't even open a fucking door for you. All I am is a lice-ridden leper. I SAID DON'T LOOK AT ME, YOU FILTHY CUNT! MY FUCKING FACE IS FALLING OFF!
Hang on, Hang on to him.
He's such a cool, chill bro, you know? Even I think he's kind of rad. You know what my nickname around school is, right? Oh, you don't? It's Turd Ferguson. Some people call me Tubesteak but mostly I go by Turd Ferguson. By the way, I heard your guy has a garden hose in his pants. I'd hang onto that if I were you. My cock is the size of a raisin. And I'm a leper.
Think, What a big man he'll be.
His dad owns that Ford dealership, doesn't he? That's so cool. He's so cool. Man, he's going to have it all one day. A car dealership, you, President of the Rotary Club, Deacon in the parish, Auxiliary fireman, giant cock. DON'T FUCKING LOOK AT ME, WHORE! I HAVE SCABIES!
Think, Of the places you'll see.
London, Paris, Rome. Amazing. I've never been out of Jersey. Did I mention that my balls smell like medical waste?
Now think what the future would be with a poor boy like me.
Let me set the scene for you: We're married. We have four kids under the age of six with another one on the way. You're fat now and I'm holding down a couple part time jobs. I work mornings at the cardboard plant and nights at the car wash. The chemicals at the plant have made my leprosy worse but you still dutifully suck my rotting raisin once a week. We're both alcoholics but since it's 1964, no one gives a shit and our next baby will be born with one ear and fetal alcohol syndrome. I spend my days fantasizing about the life you might have had with the cool, chill bro if only you had enough sense to choose him. I have come to resent you for choosing a poor boy like me, and now I hate your fucking guts with the intensity of a thousand suns. Since the feeling is mutual we no longer speak to each other. The state has threatened to take our children away because our shack of a house is infested with raccoons. They are drawn to our property by the smell of my leprosy. It's pungent. Eventually, you poison all the kids with carbon monoxide and hang yourself in the shower. I die a few weeks later from huffing too much paint thinner.
Dawn go away, Please go away.
For real. I'm an alcoholic leper.
Although I know, I want you to stay.
/Record scratch. Wha HUH? I want you to stay? Since when? It's clear now that I have some psychological problems. People have been telling me for years I should see a therapist. Maybe they're right. Sometimes I do hear more than one voice in my head.
There's me of course, but there's also Lamont, a negro preacher; Clark, a newspaper reporter from somewhere called Metropolis; Evangalique, a latina exotic dancer from Miami; Preston, a cool bro who plays polo. I think your boyfriend knows him. Who else? Oh, there's Hyun-See, an orphan from the Korean War but I can't understand a fucking word he says. Bert, he's just an old farm hand from South Dakota, a nice guy most of the time just don't get him in the same room with Lamont. They DO NOT get along. There's Patsy, a mentally retarded gal who likes to paint water color landscapes. She's besties with Evangalique. They go everywhere together. Dan the rodeo clown, Pedro the migrant fruit picker, Benji the pick-pocket, Umberto the pizza maker... I think there's a couple more but that's all I can remember right now.
Dawn go away, Please go away.
That's more like it. Get the fuck outta Dodge, bitch. I smell like the Hamburglar's bunghole.
Lois, why are you crying? Have I done something wrong? Did LexLuthor hurt you again? By Golly, I'll show him who's boss in Metropolis.
Dawn, Go away back where you belong.
You stay over there with your nice, normal, respectable family and I'll stay here in this leper colony I just founded. Right now it's just me running the place but some time down the road I expect I'll have the largest leper colony in Jersey. maybe then I'll be good enough for you. Check back in 10 or 20 years.
Girl we can't, Change the places where we were born.
It's true. We're both white trash from Jersey.
Before you say, That you want me. I want you to think, What your family would say.
Dear daughter, you know that disgusting, filthy, smelly leper that hangs around you all the time? He should be shot and dropped into a swamp in the Meadowlands. We know some guys who can take care of him for you.
Think, What your throwing away.
A cool, chill bro. London, Paris, Rome. A Ford dealership. Wealth beyond imagining. The Kingdom of Heaven. A choir of angels. Oops. Lamont, the negro preacher came through at the end there. Sorry about that.
Now think what the future would be with a poor boy like me. Meee-ee.
A scabrous, alcoholic, multiple personality disorder leper who washes cars for a living.
Dawn, Go away I'm no good for you.
Soy un perdedor. I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
Dawn, Go away I'm no good for you.
Did I mention that I'm a leper? I think my elbow is falling off. Fuck you, bitch.
And that's "Dawn". Holy shit is that song depressing. And catchy. Why can't I stop listening to it?
To the links!
A little light today...
-@katiebakes profiles some ladies we should be paying attention to at the Olympics. [Grantland]
-"You've got to sell your heart." F. Scott Fitzgerald gives some sobering advice to an aspiring writer. Yikes. [Letters of Note]
Saw Brave last night. It wasn't awful (like Rock of Ages which I walked out on after 40 minutes) but it wasn't really good either. It certainly was not up to the Pixar standard of excellence which we have come to expect. It just existed. Boring, predictable, and most unfortunately, very few laughs.
Have to say that I am slightly worried about the direction Pixar is headed in. Up until Cars 2 (which I didn't see) the studio had made practically zero mistakes. Everything they did was golden. Now all we are getting are sequels. Monsters University, Toy Story 4, Finding Nemo 2... What's going on over there? Can't they create anything from scratch? Where are the new Ratatouilles and Wall-E's?
I'm troubled.
Here's my updated rankings of all the Pixar films, excluding Cars 2, which I haven't seen (but I understand is terrible and would probably be last on this list).
12. Brave 11. Cars 10. A Bug's Life 9. Up 8. Toy Story 2 7. Toy Story 6. Monsters, Inc. 5. The Incredibles 4. Finding Nemo 3. Toy Story 3 2. Ratatouille 1. Wall-E
-A Goodbye to Ambien in Dubai. An American comedienne travels to Dubai and has to kick her Ambien habit. Enjoyed this. [The Hairpin]
-Elliote Friedman looks at the NHL's initial proposal. Bettman and the owners are dumb. [CBC Sports]
-More Friedman. His final 30 Thoughts of the season. Sigh. [CBC Sports]
-What If This Is As Good As It Gets? Looks like the Blackhawks aren't going to do shit this offseason except add a very sketchy assistant coach. [Second City Hockey]
-More from SCH on the Kompon hiring. I agree with all of this. [SCH]
-A full list of all the panels at this weekend's Hawks convention. Marian Hossa is on the panel for the Kids Only Press Conference. Might have to schedule some time to watch that. [blackhawks.com]
-A cool interactive look at the London Olympic venues. [The Guardian]
-New trailer for Oz the Great and Powerful. I'm intrigued but fully expect this to be a giant shit sandwich. I remember how excited I was for that Three Musketeers movie when I saw the preview a few years ago and then I never even saw it because the reviews were so bad. The CGI for Oz looks like dump. [YouTube]
-I love this scene from Wall-E so much... I can't even tell you.
In the wake of my post yesterday, I thought this was a cool way to start today. Fuck you, cancer.
Also, I'm dumping the rather inelegant former title of these blog posts ("Link Dump") and going with the rather predictable yet slightly cheeky "The Missing Links". Whatever. It's the best link pun I could come up with. To the links!
-I loved Midnight in Paris. I love nostalgia. Here's a Parisian apartment that was abandoned and locked up over 70 years ago as World War II was ramping up. It was left untouched until a couple years ago. Some amazing pictures. [MessyNessyChic]
-Some tidbits from ComicCon about the next season of Game of Thrones. [USA Today]
-An interesting read about growing up as a Mormon. There doesn't really seem to a point to the piece but it's well written. [The New Republic]
-The convention is coming! The convention is coming! [Blackhawks.com]
-Besides cancer, you know who else can go fuck themselves? Lego. Fuck you, Lego, and your awesome new Hobbit set. Seriously. Blow me. How am I supposed to pay for this and all the Lord of the Rings shit you're tossing at me this year? It's too much. And I haven't even started to build the Millennium Falcon I got for Christmas last year. IT'S ALL TOO MUCH. [Wired]
-Matt Forte and the Bears agreed to a new contract a couple hours before the franchise tag deadline. I've got a feeling (woo hoo!) That's 2012's gonna be a good good season! I've got a feeling (woo hoo!) that 2012's gonna be a real good season! Sorry. I just started channeling the Black Eyed Peas for a second. I'm embarrassed. [Trib]
-But for real... The Beloved have been bet down from 25/1 to 8/1 to win the Super Bowl. Bearssssss. [Grantland]
-I mean, come on, just look at this schedule... I am seeing 14-2. Minimum 13-3. BEARSSSSSSS. [chicagobears.com]
-The Hawks hired Jamie Kompon as a new assistant coach to replace Haviland. Just read this and now I'm terrified. [lakingsnews.com via @adamjahns]
-Uh oh. Just after Jahns tweeted out that link. Chris Kuc tweeted this:
Already looking forward to the 0-54 streak to start the season. Quenneville and his cronies. He'll be gone by the all-star break if this shit bottoms out.
-Robert Plant married Patty Griffin. Congrats. [eOnline]
-In honor of Mr. Plant's nuptials, I give you "The Rain Song" from The Song Remains the Same. Robert loved him some medieval fantasy shit ("Misty Mountain Hop", references to Gollum, Moria, etc., etc.).
Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 11:07AM 
